Darker Pasts / Brighter Futures

by M.N.O.P.

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about

Hey everyone!

It's finally here. I've been working on this album for a little over a year and I'm happy to say it's finally finished. Thanks so much to everyone who supported me with it.

This album has been a really big dream of mine, although I don't believe any musician who says that they only make music for themselves. These songs are for you as much as they are for me. So thanks for listening, I appreciate it more than you know.

The song "Washington" is actually not on here, since I didn't have time to finish recording it, but rest assured that I'll be putting out more music soon, an EP or something.

I've got a soundcloud: soundcloud.com/amelia-hazen

...and a YouTube channel (for music & videos in the works!!!!):
www.youtube.com/user/maynooneperish?feature=guide

Thanks for listening!!!

credits

released 28 November 2012
Track 1:
Produced by Trestan Matel

Track 3:
Accordion by Jessi Savannah
Ukelele and vocals by Delilah Ohrstrom
Guitar and Vocals by Alex Harris

Track 7:
Produced by Trestan Matel
Harmonizing vocals and mouth harp by Trestan Matel

Track 8:
Produced by Trestan Matel

Cover art and banner by Amelia Hazen and Brian Rawn

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all rights reserved

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Track Name: Monuments
where you want to write letters from
is somewhere sunny and pretty and warm
but what passes through your head
or passes for your heart
or reaches through the edges of your doubt
means nothing more than anything that you have ever
said out loud

i wanna write songs like monuments
like bench legs in dust
like when you see your ex lover on the back of a crowded bus
for your prologues and endings and future keep-goings
for all those true things that were never truly real
trust me when i say that pain is the best thing you could feel

these days are review mirrors that reveal a new side of your face
and when you're looking back, yeah you always hesitate
for the long walk after a hard talk and your heart's beating in your throat
and it's such a sign of life
you think you'll choke

so love your limits and your fears
because of everything about you, they won't always be here
to give you solace for your failures
and the things your never reached for
and leave you with a lingering sense of regret
for each and every one of them

and i'm not here to pretend
that i know who you are
or where you've been.
Track Name: No Religion
i leave for L.A. in the a.m.
and we haven't spoken in over three weeks
and i thought i was broken when i drove south
but i've done some thinking
do you want
do you wanna hear

my thoughts on bullets and walls made of knives
that i worship and that i wished i looked something like

each bridge that we cross is a bridge that we build
but i wish i had lost some of those supports to that current
cos i regret some things that i've done and i've said
but i can't hold on to what meant most back then
and the water carried what i'd learned
but i wish i'd listened

well it's no religion
to be teaching me chords
standing on a rainy porch
though i had prayed
that at least it would mean something more
and for every ending a beginning is a cure
you had passed out drunk
i was waiting outside your door.
Track Name: Infinite Scenarios
living in my mind are infinite scenarios of you and i
where your perfection never dies
it's a mental paradise
where we both grow old side by side

and persisting in my mind are infinite scenarios of how i'll die
of cancer in my stomach
or sleeping on a long drive
or passing alone in the quiet

waiting, i was only waiting in anticipation of the fatal flaws
marked on the walls of that subway station
and he was only itching
for what lay between my legs his fingers crossed
and soaked in warmth that i gave off

was i just imagining all of this?
while my mind was promising future bliss
did i just imagine your kiss?
while my heart was breaking from that respite

your promises are dressed in blue
and waking on a sunday, clean and bright as new
but in the end, they were buried without dirt
but high and dry and out of sight or so i heard

and within these city gridlines are infinite scenarios
and various experiments of life
but your jaw is breaking from the movements of your mouth
and the weight of CO2 that you put out

waiting, i was only waiting in anticipation of the fatal flaws
marked on the walls of that subway station
and he was only itching
for what lay between my legs his fingers crossed
and soaked in warmth that i gave off

was i just imagining all of this?
while my mind was promising future bliss
did i just imagine your kiss?
while my heart was breaking from that respite
Track Name: First Banjo Song (Everything That Ever Meant Anything Will Mean Something, I Swear)
keep your gun pointed up
you know who you are and you know what you got

i can't stand, no i can't tolerate
the dreams you had of running away

of running away
of running

keep your tongue
in my mouth
just to keep these words from coming out

hold your gun
to my mouth
and pray these words stop coming out

stop coming out
stop coming
start running

broken glass in my bed
you best not ask cos you know what's next
yeah you've seen it ahead

you've seen it
do you mean it

hold your gun
to my mouth
and pray these words stop coming out

i was locked
inside that house
just to keep my thoughts from racing around

i was bent
out of shape, across the whole continent
and through all these doubts

i'm crying out loud

i'm crying

i'm dying.
Track Name: Why Do We Keep The Ashes?
why do we keep the ashes?

different time different place
and i don't have the space
and your covers, they may change
as long as your bed stays the same
Track Name: John Wayne Gacy, Jr.
one day they broke into your house to find
an underground cavern that held a mine
of 30 something 20 somethings that had died
for intimacy's sacrifice
oh john wayne gacy, it would not suffice

cos you were past the age capacity
where your behavior flew under the radar
so instead to amend your father's insistences
that you were just a bastard and no child of his

you went on a hunt to find and take what others had
in the prime of their lives
maybe it was just a simple matter of penis size
but unmistakable was the relief
when you saw the lights go out in their eyes

you had no defense
against the things that lived under your bed and your doorstep

you were so inviting on your exterior side
but had no one to console you otherwise
and tell you

everything is gonna be alright
everything is gonna be just fine
Track Name: Second Banjo Song (Death By Radio)
elizabeth edwards took the last train home
when i was comatose, death by radio
and all of my idols are smoldered in ash
and i hope the ones that i love
haven't already passed

cos i haven't watched the family pulse
while making a brand new life on a brand new coast
and there's two thousand miles and five nights to go
and the mississippi can't help but flow

wrapped in my bed is where i drown in deep thinking
i'm trying to breathe but i'm steadily sinking
and smoking friends' cigarettes and watching them burn
as if life was weighed out in the breaths you had earned

and if i had to give one more to my monologues
where i'm saying i love you and fuck you at the same time
then i might as well keep on killing myself or grow up some more
cos i've heard it all before

wisdom begins when you're bleeding through stitches
half wishing it ends like sylvia in the kitchen
but those feelings are fleeting of needing self-harm
when you've etched their eulogies on the side of your arm

and nobody gave her credit for the passion and grace
of what her words gave to the strength in her veins
cos when you're chewing on bitterness and choking on spite
it's impossible not to feel alive

what passes through satellites is not subsitute enough
for the carbon we exchanged on holidays and rough nights
and the price of our talking even outweights
all the oil and the sins that i have to pay for

i'll be cashing in on promises and breaking the rest
hoping for the worst and doing my best
when there's one hundred lovers and ninety nine nights to go
before i feel like a stretch of empty road
Track Name: Third Banjo Song (Damages)
i got poison ivy from the other night
when i spread my legs on a bed of vines
and now the scabs make all the constellations
i could never find

comparatively
these damages make my lungs and my heart look healthy
and we're wishing on the brightest scar
and putting bandages on every star

plus
i'm a little broke now
so give me a little time and space and let these leaves change
and i'll get out of town

anxiety strikes like sharks in shallow water
as a swimmer thought they'd never be unseen
but it's too late so make it clean

and lately
i've been thinking sex and drugs
are for insomniacs and criminals and freaks
conditioned to believe
that life's one big scary movie all you have to do
is not watch the screen

plus
i'm a little drunk now
so give me a cigarette
and let me throw up in the bathroom
and i'll be good for another round

comparatively
damning you to hell wouldn't elevate me
and after february i swore to never write
another song about my lover
just one other thing to burn
and if i'm wrong about you, then i guess it's my turn.